Beonard’s Losers — 2010, Week 8

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Howdy, football fans!  The football world is starting to come into sharper focus.  Except nobody has any clue who the top team in the country really is.  Fortunately, I’m here to help you sort through the confusion, so let’s take a look at this week’s games.

Michigan State at Northwestern

Sparty finds itself at the top of the Big Televen this week, and will keep that in mind on Saturday.  The purple kittens have had a week off to recover from their unexpected loss to Purdue, and they’ll need all eight of their remaining lives to survive this game.  Michigan State is due for a stumble, but they’ll make it out of Evanston unharmed.  Beonard’s loser? Northwestern

Purdue at Ohio State

The West Lafayette locomotive has picked up a head of steam, and Danny Hope will need the fire going full blast as he tries to clear the tracks of some Ohio trees.  After a punishing loss in Madison, Jim Tressel’s nuts need to avoid getting kicked in a repeat of last year’s “Purdue Harbor” upset.  Don’t count the bartenders out of this game, but I wouldn’t put much money on them either.  Beonard’s loser? Purdue

Penn State at Minnesota

With the Valley less Happy these days, Joe Pa probably welcomes the chance to go on the road against a team that his kittens can use as a scratching post.  With a mid-season dismissal of Tim Brewster, the Gopher leadership has shown that they’ve given up on this season.  Don’t expect to see much heart from the players either.  Beonard’s loser? Minnesota

Indiana at Illinois

After three straight weeks of playing “State” teams, Ron Zook heads back to the Chambana campground for the easier portion of the conference schedule.  Up first is an Indiana team that struggled to beat Arkansas State at home last weekend.  The tribe have been tough defensively, and could prove problematic for the basketballers’ potent passing attack.  Bill Lynch needs two more wins to get the Hoosiers to their second bowl game this millennium, but that won’t happen this week.  Beonard’s loser? Indiana

Notre Dame vs Navy

After 43 straight losses, the Midshipmen are 2-1 against the Domers in the past three years.  Brian Kelly hopes to even the score in East Rutherford Saturday afternoon and extend the longest winning streak in his Notre Dame career.  Although neither team has been offensively potent, expect the Navy rushing attack to run all over the Pope’s boys.  Beonard’s loser? In a close one, Notre Dame

LSU at Auburn

It’s Tiger-on-Tiger action as two unbeatens fight for control of the SEC West in Jordan-Hare Stadium.  Auburn has allowed at least 27 points in conference games against teams not named “Mississippi State”, so they’ll need to put their 40.7 points-per-game offense to good use.  Unfortunately, LSU boasts the nation’s 11th best scoring defense.  On the other hand, Les Miles has had some remarkably bad clock management practices, and I still expect LSU’s luck to break at any time.  Beonard’s loser? LSU

Wisconsin at Iowa

After uprooting the Buckeyes, Bret Bielma’s Badger boys head into Iowa City to try to ground Kirk Ferentz’s flock.  This game should be a slugfest, but it will be hard to knock the Hawkeyes out of their nest.  Beonard’s loser?  In a close one, Wisconsin

Nebraska at Oklahoma State

The Cowboys have ridden to a 6-0 record on the backs of their trusty steed “Passing Offense”.  On Saturday, they’ll welcome their first ranked opponent into Boone Pickens Stadium.  The shuckers have an an easy start themselves, which has allowed them to reel off over 300 yards per game on the ground.  This game comes down to defense, then, and the cowpokes haven’t exactly been the best of shots.  Beonard’s loser? Oklahoma State

Oklahoma at Missouri

Thanks to Wisconsin, the Sooners find themselves at the top of the BCS rankings this week, and they’ll try to hold on to that position when they head into Columbia Saturday night.  Gary Pinkel’s squad has some good stats through the first half of the season, but their resume is pretty weak.  Expect Bob Stoops to expose a few flaws in the Tigers.  Beonard’s loser?  Missouri

That’s all we’ve got time for this week.  Tune in again next week to catch more losers.

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