Blog Fiasco

September 24, 2010

Beonard’s Losers — 2010, Week 4

Filed under: Funnel Fiasco,Sports — Tags: , , , — bcotton @ 4:25 pm

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Howdy, football fans!  It hasn’t been the best week for Michigan State.  Shortly after their last-second overtime win against Notre Dame, coach Mark Dantonio suffered a heart attack.  He’s out of the hospital now, and we wish him a speedy recovery.  Then on Tuesday, a player was arrested for his alleged involvement in a laptop theft ring.  The Big 12 has some mixed news, as it has gained nearly $7 million in exchange for losing Colorado a year early.  Of course, I also have to mention this week’s Mascot Fight, in which Rufus Bobcat got the best of Brutus the Buckeye.  You’d think that by late September the drama would all be on the field, but I guess it’s just not to be.  So while we wait for more non-playing drama, let’s take a look at this week’s games.

Austin Peay at Wisconsin

After a close call against Arizona State last weekend, Bret Bielma’s Badger boys will be glad to bring some easier competition back into Camp Randall Stadium.  Austin Peay hopes to enjoy the luck that some other I-AA teams have had this year, but it’ll be the Governors that get vetoed.  Beonard’s loser? Austin Peay

Ball State at Iowa

Kirk Ferentz’s flock got plucked last weekend, but on Saturday they return to the friendly confines of the Kinnick Stadium nest.  The Muncie fowl need to snap their skid before heading into MAC play, and ruling the roost in Iowa City would be a great confidence boost.  Unfortunately for them, the hometown birds aren’t likely to take kindly to strangers.  Beonard’s loser? Ball State

Bowling Green at Michigan

RichRod can’t afford to take any opponent lightly, after narrowly escaping the Massachusetts milita last weekend.  The Falcons fly in to Ann Arbor with the nation’s 29th best passing yardage — and a 0-2 road record.  The Wolverine defense has allowed more points as each week goes by, and once again it’ll be the offense called to save the day.  This game may be closer than most Michiganders would like, but they’ll be happy with the result.  Beonard’s loser? Bowling Green

Northern Colorado at Michigan State

For the fourth straight week, the Bears play a team with “State” in the name.  This weekend, it’s the East Lansing spear-toters.  After last week’s dramatic win, Sparty could use a bit of a break, but the Greely gang are no slouches.  They average over 45 points per game this season, albeit against weaker competition.  With Notre Dame last weekend and Wisconsin and Michigan coming up, this has all the makings for a trap game.  Beonard’s loser?  In a close one, Northern Colorado

Central Michigan at Northwestern

The purple kittens have gotten themselves off to a solid start, quietly working their way into the top 10 defenses in football.  On Saturday, they’ll host the number four defense.  With both of these teams better when they don’t have the ball, it could be a low-scoring game, but the pass-happy play should keep things lively enough.  Pat Fitzgerald has shaped his herd into a force to be reckoned with, and they’re well on their way to a school-record third straight bowl game.  Beonard’s loser? Central Michigan

Toledo at Purdue

The old gold and black locomotive picked up some steam last weekend in a win over Ball State, and it’ll need that momentum when Toledo blasts into the West Lafayette switching station.  Tim Beckman and company oughta feel right at home in the Cradle of Astronauts, but that might not be such a good thing.  The missiles have lost their only home game, and won both of their road matchups.  On Saturday, however, they won’t be able to get into orbit.  Beonard’s loser? Toledo

Alabama at Arkansas

The number two and number five scoring defenses face off in what’s sure to be a lively Razorback Stadium.  The Tide D made it a full nine quarters into the season before they surrendered a touchdown, and last week’s dismantling of Duke was the first time a team has scored twice.  The piggies, meanwhile, gave more points to Georgia last week than Alabama has allowed at all.  Still, it’ll be tough for either team to move the ball.  At the end though, there’s a reason Alabama is the top-ranked team.  Beonard’s loser?  In a close one, Arkansas

Eastern Michigan at Ohio State

In yet another Big Ten-vs-MAC matchup, the Eagles fly into the Horseshoe to try and get their first win.  Not a chance.  Beonard’s loser? Eastern Michigan

Stanford at Notre Dame

After two straight losses to Big Ten teams — and you wonder why the Irish decided to remain independent — Brian Kelly will try his luck against the California tree.  Stanford’s had no problem scoring points, having scored at least 35 in each of their first three games.  Although the Pope’s boys can score too, they’ll really need their defense to step up if they hope to win this game.  After a promising defeat of Purdue to start the season, Brian Kelly has looked  more and more the sinner every week.  Beonard’s loser?  Notre Dame

Temple at Penn State

The most lopsided active “rivalry” in football kicks off in Happy Valley Saturday afternoon, with the Owls looking for their fourth win — not only of the season, but of the series.  The winged professors have shown that they’re not the pushover they’ve been in years past, but Joe Pa’s kitties have their claws sharp.  Beonard’s loser?  Temple

Akron at Indiana

Just when you thought there couldn’t be any more MAC teams playing against the Big Ten this weekend, the Zips head into Basketballtown to take on Bill Lynch’s unproven squad.  The winless kangaroos are nearly last in points for and points against.  Frankly, I’m surprised that the cream and crimson aren’t defending the rock against Jackson Creek Middle School.   Beonard’s loser? Akron

South Carolina at Auburn

Another matchup of ranked SEC teams is in store for us Saturday evening when Steve Spurrier takes his Cocks into Jordan-Hare Stadium to take on the Auburn kittens.  Both teams are hoping to remain undefeated in conference play, but the home team certainly needs it more, with the depth of the SEC West.  South Carolina has a stout defense, despite the 19 points they let Furman have.  Meanwhile, Auburn has struggled to keep teams in the teens, and that just won’t work against this kind of opponent.  Beonard’s loser? Auburn

Oregon State at Boise State

With the wheels coming off Virginia Tech’s season, Boise State needs to make the most of this second game against a ranked opponent.  Mike Riley’s flattails haven’t had the best of luck keeping opponents off the scoreboard, and that’s a real problem when you’re playing on the blue turf of Bronco Stadium.  Critics can say what they want about strenght of schedule, but when it’s the real deal, the Boise Broncs know how to ride off into the sunset victoriously.  Beonard’s loser? Oregon State

Northern Illinois at Minnesota

The last of the MAC/Big Ten games kicks off in TCF Bank Stadium when the Huskies take on the “Please Don’t Fire Me. Love, Tim Brewster”s.  This is quite the pillow fight and I’m not entirely convinced either team should win.  I do think that things look very bad for Mister Brewster.  Beonard’s Loser? Even if they win, Minnesota

West Virginia at LSU

Bill Stewart takes his squad down from the mountain to do a little bit of explorin’ in the Baton Rouge swamp.  The visitors let Marshall go to overtime, so they’ll want to fix their defenses before they encounter the Bayou Bengals.  Les Miles and company don’t seem to be able to throw the ball, but they can slink downfield just fine, and they sure don’t like letting strangers have their way in Tiger Stadium.  Beonard’s loser?  West Virginia

Okay, folks, that’s all I can come up with this week.  Come back here next week and we’ll talk about some more losers.

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